WHAT IS BEING FRAGILE?
What do I mean when I say fragile? Do I mean people being soft? Do I mean people who are easily hurt? No. When I say fragile, I’m talking about our ways as human beings. Our susceptibility to run away from pain, to take the easy road and live with unresolved pain everyday in our lives and just try to forget about them. That’s being fragile. We run away because we are scared to be broken by what burdens us mentally. We run away because we do not want to face our demons, because it haunts us in our sleep, because they are things that we don’t want to think about.
Now, you might be thinking to yourself “That’s not being fragile. That’s normal to not want to face your demons” or “That’s normal to not face them until you’ve figured it all out” Sure. Sure it’s being fragile. The only reason I can say that is because I’ve been fragile too. I’ve ran away from problems too and one day I realized that I was being fragile. I was scared of facing what has haunted me because I was scared to be fully broken by it. I see it in our society the things I used to do with myself. Unhealthy coping mechanisms. Whether it was smoking too much pot, being at the gym for ungodly hours just to get away from something at home or even being in that awful mindset of “why do these things happen to me?”
HOW DOES THIS MAKE US FRAGILE?
Every experience we have: Good, bad, ugly. It doesn’t all just disappear. Everything gets stored in this beautifully crafted brain of ours. It is our subconscious mind that is responsible for remembering all of this.
When we accumulate negative experiences, especially traumatic ones our brain have developed this amazing method of trying to get us to pay attention to the things we need to fix by showing them to us in dreams, or the thoughts that randomly pop into your head. Even something as random as a song lyric popping in your head (If analyzed against your current situation, in my experience its related.) It is these things that we have to pay attention to. It is these things that we have to look at and realize. Acknowledge their existence and find a solution. Find the root cause and treat it. When this is not done, negative emotions, experiences, people, etc… will continue to pile up in our heads until we are no longer capable of dealing with it. In worse cases this turns people violent, more into their vices, and even drive some into insanity. This is because they don’t know what to do with all the dreams, all the thoughts, and all the voices in their heads popping up telling them things. “You’re a piece of shit” “You’ll never amount to anything” etc… It’s these things that drive people mad. The more unresolved issues we have pilled up inside us, the more we have to come back and haunt us, and every time they come back to haunt us, we break. Mostly not by much, but little by little every time. One small crack in our sanity at a time. Eventually that crack may just turn into something more that you cannot control, and it may just break you.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Well, the first step is always recognizing that there is a problem. Acknowledging that it exists, and acknowledging that its something you must be willing to change. Once you get past that step, it gets easier.
The recognition of a problem is hard. If you’re around shit for too long, you cease to notice the smell. It’s the same thing with problems. If you’ve had the same persisting problem for so long, you begin to forget life before it came. So, recognize that you’re around shit, because once you do, you start to recognize that shit stinks. Once you recognize the problem, then you can take action against it. This is called inner work (we also wrote about Inner Work. Click here to read more).
Simply acknowledging a problem doesn’t seem much. In fact, it almost seems redundant because you probably already know you’re hurting but what you’re actually doing is facing your problem. You’re now doing the opposite of what you were before. Running from it. Now, you’re asking what your problem is. Next thing you know, you’re looking at solutions.
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